How To Let Go Of Pride (5 Steps)

Your life belongs to you.  It should work for you.  But, for many of us, our pride gets in the way and causes our life to work in others favor. In this article, you will learn how to let go of pride in order to get your life working for you as it should.

Empowering people to get their life to work for them is what we do at Soul Focused Group.  If you want your life to work for you, then you’re going to need a technology to empower you to do it. 

The article you are about to read is the product of Soul Focused Technology, the Ego Reduction Formula

By dedicating your time to reading it you will walk away empowered with the insight and ability to distinguish your Ego from your Soul. You will know when you’re Ego-Focused versus when you’re Soul-Focused.  You will also come to understand precisely why being Soul-Focused is the ticket to your being rewarded with the time and money freedom to be, do and have all that your Soul desires. 

All you have to do is follow these five simple steps. 

Step One: Keep Your Eyes On The Prize

How To Let Go Of Pride - Eyes on the Prize

How many times have you wanted something as simple as a hug or a warm embrace from your significant other? 

You had a bad day at work and all you wanted was just a little personal attention from them. 

However, instead of just coming out and asking for it, you elected to make them wrong first. 

You accused them of never spending enough time with you.  You told them how they always seemed to be focused on something else.  You proclaimed that they no longer treated you like you were special to them anymore.  

Before you knew it, you were both engaged in a heated argument. 

There you were trying to prove you were right, and they were wrong when originally all you wanted was a hug. 

Damn!

Ego is good at getting you to take your eyes off the prize.

So, how did it end?  Here’s how it ended.  You walked away empty-handed, no hug, no warm tender embrace, and no passionate kiss, leading to hot steamy sex.  

To be honest, you’ve been walking away from a lot of situations in your life empty handed.

You’ve gotten quite good at walking away without the prize.  Sure, you can stand on the idea that you believe you were right, and the other person was wrong, but the fact remains, you didn’t get what you originally wanted. 

Pride is what you feed on (tell yourself) to justify to yourself why you didn’t get what you wanted. 

Pride is bullshit and you know it. 

Do you know what happens to us when we become better at not getting what we want than we are at getting what we want? 

We start to feel powerless. 

Feeling powerless doesn’t mean you’re entirely without power.  It means you feel like you have less and less power.

Power, in this context, is a result.  Power is not an action.  It is something we feel as a result of getting what we want.  It is for this reason that we end up feeling powerless when we don’t get what we want and even more powerless if it repeats itself. 

Power is different from force.  You can exert force all day and still end up not getting what you want. 

A person can work on a job for years and still end up walking away without the prize.

how to let go of pride - working on a job without the prize

That said, it would be accurate to say that Ego serves as an agent of disempowerment, which is just a nice way of saying that Ego is great at distracting you from the prize. 

Remember, power is a result and exerting force doesn’t always guarantee that you’re going to experience power surging through yourself.  In other words, just because you force someone to do what you want them to do, doesn’t mean you’re going to get what you really want. 

Some of the seemingly most powerful men and women in the world, almost never get what they really want. 

What they really want, for the most part, is a secret to those outside their circle.

However, if you were to get to know them intimately you would discover that they’re not as powerful as you think.  In reality, in their own eyes, they don’t see themselves as being very powerful. 

Why?  It’s because they’re not getting what they really want…we just don’t know what that is.  

For some, it’s the respect of their children.  For others, it’s the tender love of someone who cares about them beyond their wealth and riches.  And for others, it’s spiritual peace and happiness. 

how to let go of pride - unhappy business man

They want to be happy and no matter how much money they accumulate it still eludes them.  Usually, what they really want money cannot buy.  It must be freely given to them, and they haven’t learned how to let go of pride enough to get it. 

Only in the eyes of those on the outside looking in do they occur as powerful.  We want what we see them with, materially.  Ego is so cunning and clever that even those who appear powerful to the average person are brought to their knees. 

Okay, stop for a second and let’s go back to the simple hug and warm embrace you wanted from your significant other. 

Can you see how all the Ego generated drama disempowered you?  In other words, can you see how easy it was for you to get all caught up in what wasn’t really important in the first place? 

You took your eyes off of the prize.

Because of Ego you walked away with pride, rather than the prize.  That’s what pride looks like in action…That’s what Ego looks like in action.  Pride is an Ego pacifier. 

Some parents use pacifiers to distract their babies from something they want or are experiencing in an attempt to quiet them down.  Think of pride as an adult pacifier…something you accept in place of the real prize. 

The prize is where your happiness is, and if happiness is going to be something you consistently experience then you’re going to have to stay focused on it.  

Ego is always leading you in the opposite direction of the prize.  Happiness is simple.  It is the result of getting what you want or knowing you can get what you want.  To get what you want, all you have to do is remain focused on it. 

This brings us to step two.

Step Two: Feed What You Want To Grow

how to let go of pride - growth

You’ll never become good at something by focusing on the opposite of whatever it is. 

For example, you don’t get rich by focusing on being poor.  You don’t get healthy by focusing on being sick. 

Wherever you place your focus is what you feed. Focus is feeding. 

This is extremely important because whatever your focus is, feeding it will expand it…it will grow right before your eyes. 

You don’t feed war if you want to expand peace.

Whichever area of your life stands out the most reveals the one you’ve been feeding most.  Attention is spiritual food and whatever you feed it expands.  

This reminds me of a Native America story about the two wolves that exist inside of all of us.  According to the story, one wolf is good and the other is evil.  The wolf who wins the battle is always the one we feed (focus on or pay attention to). 

Your Ego wants you to feed the evil wolf, to pay attention to the opposite of what you desire.  This is what turns us into devils.  It’s our inability to consistently get what we want. 

You have to focus on the result you want to get the result you want.   If you want to reach the desired destination you don’t head out in the opposite direction of it! 

As a final analysis, this means you have to get good at answering the most important question in the universe and this question is this: What do you want? 

This brings us to the third step.

Step Three: Get Better At Answering the Question

how to let go of pride - answering questions

“What do you want?” is the one question the universe is always repeatedly asking you. 

Every situation where you seek out the universe’s assistance, the same question is always being posed. It would be fair to say that what you want is the only question worth answering. 

In other words, God, the Source, is not interested in what you don’t want.  God wants to know what you want and the clearer you are about it the faster it comes. 

Everything in the universe is poised to assist you in getting what you want. Only the social constructs we’ve built into society oppose us getting what we want. 

Ego is one of those psycho-social constructs.  It’s not just in society, it’s in our mind.  This means, ego is not real in nature or out in the universe. 

We weren’t born with an Ego.  We develop an Ego.

It’s in our head, and because it exists in our head, everywhere we go, Ego goes.  When we go to school, Ego goes to school.  We go to church and Ego is right there in church with us, learning and studying what the preacher is preaching, so it can use it against us. 

It’s going to turn what we’re listening to into the pride that keeps us from getting what we want.  By distracting you from what you want Ego distracts you from your purpose.

This is why there are so many people who don’t know what their life purpose is.  They’ve failed to understand the essence of what purpose actually is. 

This bring us to the forth step

Step Four: Do It On Purpose

There are those who do it by default, and then there are those who do it on purpose. 

Those who do it on purpose are good at answering the question…”What do you want?”  They can describe what they desire in detail. 

When what you want is vague it’s difficult to do it on purpose.  In other words, when we don’t know what we want, we act by default. 

Acting by default means that life circumstances make your choices and decisions for you.  You are put into situations where you are forced to do something. 

how to let go of pride - acting by default

You’re forced to raise money because a bill collector is pressuring you. 

You’re forced to move into another apartment because a fire burned the apartment next door even though you’ve been talking about how you need to move. 

You’re forced to bring a toxic relationship to an end because you walked in on your partner in bed with someone else.

That’s by default. 

There is no power in doing it by default.

The primary reason why you are here is to be, do, and have what you desire by choice and not by force. 

It’s like going to the grocery store.  No one makes a trip to the store, to not get what they want… and hopefully, they’re doing it on purpose and not by force. 

Just as no one came into this world to not get what they desire, because they came on purpose.  God, the Source doesn’t force anyone to come into this world.  There could be no such thing as free will. 

Purpose is what led you to the store.  You went to the store on purpose.  Purpose is what brought you into this world.  You came into this world on purpose. 

That’s right…you elected to make your appearance.

Think of Earth as a great big giant grocery store.  It’s where Spirit-Beings in human form, like you and me, go shopping for the ingredients to create their desired experiences.  Having a purpose in life means you’re in pursuit of something that you want.  

how to let go of pride - grocery for purpose

All of us have a purpose for being here.  This is why not getting what we want is so painful.  We feel as if we are without purpose and every Spirit-Being knows this is not true. 

The pain we feel is signaling to us that we’re not feeding what we want to grow.  We’re focused on pride rather than the prize

This is what led Robert Greene author of the bestselling book; The 48 Laws of Power, to make the following statement. 

“The feeling of having no power over people and events is generally unbearable to us — when we feel helpless, we feel miserable.”   

It’s how we feel when we suck on the Ego pacifier rather than getting the spiritual nutrition that comes from us giving ourselves what we desire on purpose. 

Imagine what would happen to a baby if its parents never actually fed the child, only gave it a pacifier to shut the child up.  That child would die from malnutrition.  This is how we lose sight of our inspiration.  We stop feeding ourselves what we desire on purpose. 

Now, just to be clear, I don’t agree with Robert Greene when it comes to the part about having power over people.  As far as I’m concerned that’s an illusion.  We can have authority over positions or roles people play. However…

We don’t actually have power over people.

To have actual power over people would mean that they’re either captives or slaves.  We are not creators of people, and thus, have no power over them. 

We can influence them and even manipulate them, yet we have no real power over people. 

That’s a mind trick. 

We can use force against them, like military or police force, but neither are examples of power. 

This is why so many people have a misconstrued understanding of what power is. What most people view as power is actually force and force is not power.

This bring us to the fifth step.

Step Five: Cooperate With What Cooperates With You

Power is in cooperation and not in control. 

We’ve all been tricked into going after control while the world quietly gets us to cooperate.  It depends on us cooperating and conforming. 

There’s nothing wrong with either. Society, to a large degree, needs cooperation and conformity in order to exist. 

how to let go of pride - cooperation

The problem is not cooperation or conformity.  The problem is you’ve been cooperating with and conforming to what doesn’t work for you.  That’s the problem, which is why the fifth step is Cooperate With What Cooperates with You

This world works because we cooperate with (conform to) the rules and norms of society. The rules and laws governing our society were created by Spirit-Beings in human form just like you and me.  

In the final analysis, this means we’re all cooperating with something and it’s our cooperation that makes the world go around and around.  That’s the real power in the world that the so-called powers-that-be don’t want you to wake up to. 

Whenever your life isn’t working the way you’d like it’s always because you’re cooperating with what is not cooperating with you. 

We’re cooperating with laws that oppress and limit us.

Far too many of us are cooperating with things that aren’t cooperating with us. We’re cooperating with policies that ensure that the same people win, and the same people lose.  We complain, but we cooperate

When something isn’t cooperating with us it means we’re paying attention to something that doesn’t give us an ROI (return on investment).  It doesn’t inspire us, motivate or charge us up.  Instead, it drains us.  It takes without equally giving back.  It discourages and robs us of our life’s energy. 

Consider for a moment that beyond our skin and bones we are all the same.  We are all Spirit-Beings having a human experience who know the truth. 

However, the majority of us get caught in the illusion of social constructs.  We see people as their race, gender, sexual orientation, or economic status.  We don’t see them for who they are. 

We are all infinite Soul beings of light having human experiences.

how to let go of pride - spiritual beings

The idea of having power over people is, therefore, a corruption brought about by the psycho-social construct called Ego. Instead of communicating directly with the Spirit-Being we communicate instead to their Ego because we’re acting out of our Ego. 

Imagine how much more powerful you could be if you developed the ability to communicate directly with the Being rather than speaking to their pride. Power with people is the Soul Focused route that we must all take.

However, until we get clear on what Ego is and what it does, we will continue to chase down the illusion of having power over people. 

Recap: How To Let Go Of Pride

Okay, so what did I say to you?  How to let go of pride.  Here’s how you let go of pride.  You have to take these five steps.

You have to:

  1. Keep Your Eyes On The Prize
  2. Feed What You Want To Grow
  3. Get Better At Answering The Question
  4. Do It On Purpose
  5. Cooperate With What Cooperates With You

If you take these steps and execute them exactly, as I’ve instructed, in no time at all, you’re going to find yourself happily letting go of pride.

In fact, letting go of pride will be easy.  These five steps do more than empower you to overcome pride.  They are designed to help empower you to get your life to work for you. 

Stay tuned for more articles on Ego and pride. 

It’s time you discover how to see straight through the social constructs surrounding you and become a master.  Reading and studying this article is the first step to Ego mastery.

About the Author

Berwick Mahdi Davenport, AKA “M” is a Life Coach pioneer and social justice and anti-racist facilitator and organizer. He’s been in practice for over thirty years. M is the prodigy behind the creation of the Ego Reduction Formula, which makes integrating social/political consciousness with spiritual consciousness possible. M is also a celebrated author and a loving father of three very beautiful daughters.